[SHITPOST] The Freedom Feds

My pal Muha (Doormat) came up with a great idea and the following conversation ensues:

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:01 PM
freedom feds
how do I expand on this idea

Doormat — Today at 7:02 PM

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:03 PM
it'll take place in the nanite controlled knothole
so I can make walls jokes
sonic is the fed recruiter
charming personality, can work fast, hip with kids
can travel to any place to find new blood
rotor and tails make lemon sundrop dandelion together
and sell them to the dingos for a profit
with the drug money
they fund their fed experiments and operations
sally is basically the head of the CIA
trying to organize a coup in adabat because they have commies in the government
and organizing raids against robotnik
nicole is just, the cameras
she lives in your walls
she collects data from all of the social media you use
she listens to your calls
she listens to your conversations
she watches you sleep
and gently removes you if you're a threat to the united states of acorn

Doormat — Today at 7:08 PM
what about cock man

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:08 PM
yes yes I'm thinking about it
bunnie and antoine hmm
ooh they help with experiments on civillians
and warfare
antoine cooks laced food
and bunnie installs an mk ultra chip with her cybernetics while shaking your hand
they are also always undercover
acting like innocent tourists from mercia and sandblast city
they also assasinate enemies
it's perfect

Doormat — Today at 7:10 PM
now what about the eggman

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:11 PM
eggman is just the feds from another country
feds vs feds

Doormat — Today at 7:11 PM
Russian feds basically?

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:11 PM

Doormat — Today at 7:11 PM
it fits
the empire was always fed like anyways

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:12 PM
robots probably spy on everything

Doormat — Today at 7:12 PM
knuckles crack operation
knuckles drug lord or something

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:12 PM
the brotherhood helps with the crack operation because they are just extremely racist against dingos
the dark legion helps eggman experiment on dingos too
controlling their politics

Doormat — Today at 7:13 PM
but I don't want chaotix feds :feelsgus:

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:13 PM
ooh tasmanian devils were just an experimentation on civilians

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:14 PM
they always were

Doormat — Today at 7:14 PM
now where does team hooligan come in this

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:16 PM
nothing changes
they are still mercenaries
they just get hired by both camps to attack the other

Doormat — Today at 7:17 PM
The Nicole one makes the most sense though

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:18 PM
her origins are in magic CIA
its in her dna

Doormat — Today at 7:18 PM
would be uncomfortable knowing that someone is watching you at all times
in your walls
when you sleep

great battle kukku XV — Today at 7:19 PM
it is
but I still fucking hate mina I wish her parents threw her on a highway as an infant

Doormat — Today at 7:19 PM
the mina concert incident